I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
