I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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