Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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