The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
