Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
