it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
