Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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