Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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