Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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