I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
