There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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