you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
