it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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