so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
