Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
