we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
