There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
