so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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