Buhtt sex?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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