Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just puked most of my soul out..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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