I cockslap morals
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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