i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
