the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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