He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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