Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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