He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
