so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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