How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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