You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
