There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
