he wants to bone in the snuggie
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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