look no pants
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
