Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
