He is such a slut. More and more my type.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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