come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
