I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
