It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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