Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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