if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
organizing the empties. That sober.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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