i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
