The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
