We're facebook friends in real life
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
