Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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