the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize