Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
