living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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