Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
