Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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