when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
