for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize