New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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