last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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