No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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