I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My vagina just clenched in fear
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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