The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
