I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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