He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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